Will I ever heal from this?

That is the question...
I wish I had an answer for this question, but I don't...
In 2 days it will have been 5 months since my boyfriend died...
How do you get over something like that?!
I had been dating him for a year and half, and he was absolutely everything to me.
He wasn't just my boyfriend, but my best friend as well. Anytime something was going wrong, he was the first person I would go to. But now? I have no one.
I've always been the kind of person who needs to talk about their problems in order to better understand them, and from there, figure out how to solve them.
But recently I haven't done that at all. I keep everything inside, and it just eats away at me.
I miss him so much. There wasn't one day in the past year and a half that I didn't love him every minute of the day, and the past 5 months haven't been any different. I still love him so much.
Nothings been easy for me recently. Everything that happens hurts so much worse than it normally would because I don't have him to go to...  I really don't even know what to do anymore. If this is what it's like just losing one person, it's gonna be so much harder when one day I realize everyone I loved as a kid, and in high school is dead. And honestly? That's how it's gonna be. I can't deal with that! I don't know how people do it. Loss is such a horrible feeling. I hate the sudden panic I get when I really realize he's gone... You know that moment right before you get hit by a car? The insane anxiety? That's what the last 5 months has felt like... It's horrible :( will it ever get better? Will there ever be a day when I can think of him and smile, instead of question why he's gone? I guess I'll just have to wait it out and see. =/